We've all heard the saying. And as teachers, perhaps we get to experience this idiom most closely. I'm not sure what village outside of school is raising my students, but I know for certain that we as teachers are a part of that village. The key to being part of the village is working together. In the past, I've been reluctant to ask for help. Most of my life I've considered myself an independent person with lots of stubbornness disguising as grit-- someone who "don't need nobody" while secretly falling apart inside. Maybe you've seen the memes (are reels considered memes?) of the person struggling while the text reads something about not asking for help even though the person clearly needs it. That has been me. However, on my journey as a teacher-- I've learned better, and in the words of Maya Angelou, "when you know better, do better." What I've come to accept is that most of my choices and actions no longer live in a vacuum of my life. My students are spending most of their day with me August through June. And while they are with me, I'm obviously with them. My actions, or inactions have an impact on them-- necessarily so. Recently, I had the opportunity to do better and ask for help from the village.
A student of mine has been showing up late. The research is there about chronic tardiness, and even without it-- the evidence is apparent. A student needs to feel like they belong in class, and when that student is missing the key morning procedures that set cohesion to our day, it's not just disruptive for them, it spreads to the whole class community. When I began to notice the pattern, I asked the office to pull records so that I could verify my suspicion with data. I wanted to make sure that when I presented my plan to the principal and counselor, there wasn't a question about the validity of my concern, and I needed them to make my plan successful. Also, the plan I was going to present, could help more than one student and I was excited to present a problem with a solution.
My plan was the following:
- Every day, whether my student is late or not-- she checks in with the office. We have a check in sheet that focuses on social emotional needs-- she gives us her zone (green, yellow, blue, red). I find that it's important that students are given opportunities to self-assess before they are "measured" or "judged" by someone else-- like peers or adults. Within this sheet there is a space where she can think of one way she can improve that feeling if her zones if needed. These would be a set of choices that we would have discussed with her prior what thinks help ground her. Things like taking a rainbow breath or maybe a tactile activity.
- The days that she is late, we make sure that she is given a choice for a snack. We can have a small drawer in the office that holds granola bars and stock the fridge with milk.
- She has a helpful task she completes. This can be watering the plants or checking in with the Libarian to see if a few books need to be put away. I think that reintroducing a student to a school and reengaging them is important. Yes, what's happening in class matters, but if their tardiness will be disruptive, and I don't have time or ability to meet their needs within the class walls, we need to find the other areas of the village where this can occur before they head down. Community is part of education, and whenever this child is having a positive interaction with school staff, it's a gain for them.
The next step will be bringing the family into the conversation. It's important to talk to them without sounding like we are judging their challenges. I was a chronically late student. I was usually late. At our school we would be sent to the library and not allowed to talk to anyone. It was akin to morning detention. Nobody checked in with us, my brother and I, and it was very embarrassing. Our classes would come in to the library and we would be scolded for looking at them. I remember clearly a conversation the principal had with my mom in the hallway. It was not a positive experience. My mom and the principal yelled at each other. There was screaming. I was in first grade, which means my mom had a baby. My little sister was maybe one years old. My mom was a single parent and there were three of us in all. Also, our school was private so she was financially stretched-- working three jobs to keep it all together. I don't know if they had previous conversations that were more communal, but the one I remember was not. She felt judged and criticized and was in full Mama Bear mode. I remember that incident and always seek to make my families feel the opposite. I need them to know that I can't do it alone, but we can do it together. I think the family will be receptive and sign off on the student missing a few more minutes at the beginning of the day to ground herself. And if not, back to the drawing board and perhaps opening the conversation to our Foundations Team to get more thoughts on the matter.
Whatever the outcome, I know I am doing my best by asking for help. After all, it takes a village.
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